I am a Real Boy

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I am a Real Boy

If I don't exist what am I 

but an empty space inside a vessel 

filled with a culmination of your dreams, emotions, 

nightmares, fears, hopes, and ambitions

You fill me daily 

I a simple reflection of what exists within your spirit 

I've been filled with hatred, love, joy, pain, elation, lust 

amongst other feelings at times

I've tasted the metal of spilled blood 

I've longed to be filled with acceptance 

At times I burst forth with glory 

Other times I've grown dark from sadness

All flows through me 

as I stand in this position of existence and non existence 

I've been killed 

but I have never been born into the world you know

You see I drew the short straw 

to exist on the cusp of life for an eternity 

and watch as you played, fucked, hated, killed, raped, suffered 

and longed for a loving embrace

I've watched as you've grown intoxicated 

as you've become high beyond reason 

as you've attempted to block the gift 

I've longed for since I witnessed it

Life is pain 

and yet you attempt to be joyful at all times 

and are ungrateful for the gift of pain, the gift of anger,

the gift of jealousy and the gift of heart ache

The silly web weaved by your stoic approach to living 

you've tossed your life away 

in order to not feel truly alive 

to what end I ask you, to what end

I stand here a vessel 

to be filled by your emotions 

and I ask you to fill me fully 

no amount of light will fill me you must also fill me with darkness

For without darkness and light 

I will never be able to exist, 

but for now I stand here waiting for you to fill me 

with your dreams and the horrors of your reality

Give onto me your pains and joys 

so I may finally stand before you a man living a life