Thursday, July 27, 2017

Quitting Day 107 (I Don't Exist)

3m 17d 20h

I've been on hiatus. Life has gotten busy and very good. You see as any artist knows. When you are not suffering it's hard to create. I've been contemplating many different interesting thoughts lately. One that has always sparked my interest comes from the famous saying of a french philosopher from the past "I think therefore I am" -RenĂ© Descartes You see Descartes wanted to prove that science was real and in his attempt to prove science he realized he couldn't prove anything. He couldn't prove that the person setting and talking with him was real or just a figmentation of his imagination. He couldn't prove that  the mountains, trees or valley were real and not just a trick of his brain. He couldn't even prove that time and space existed. He was unable to prove anything except that he was able to think and thus "I think therefore I am" was born.

I've had an interesting thought. What if he had it wrong. What if you don't exist, then what are you? It's well known that we go through life projecting our emotions and feelings on one another. That the person sitting a crossed from you is a screen for you to project your image upon or a mirror for you to reflect upon, but what if you are the screen or mirror and they are the projector? Attempt to contemplate non existence.  If you were never born then you would be infinite. You are the empty space inside the cosmos. You are filled with everyone's perception of what you are. When truly you are nothing, because you don't exist. Are you a soup of everyone's thoughts, feelings and emotions. When someone stares into the darkness what are they projecting into it. Is that what you are?

Would you prefer to be the projector, the source of light and thought?  As a projector, or one that exists you are constantly on display. You only see what lays within your heart, mind, spirit and soul as it's spewed out and reflected back at you on the faces of all you encounter. If you are to exist you have also become finite, because to exist means that one day you will not exist. As darkness, or non existing you absorb others thoughts and feelings. You can truly see them and not just a reflection of yourself.

Do you want to see others for who they are? Are you ready to face their nightmares and fears? What would you gain? I guess the real question is do you believe in humanity? Do you believe that all you encounter are inherently good?  Think about being able to absorb one's love for you, not just see your idea of love from them. You could feel them truly. You could understand them and have a deep compassion for them. Yes, you would receive their fears and nightmares, but you could also receive their dreams and ambitions. You could sooth their fears. You could let them rest in darkness as they allowed their minds to wander through the infinite possibilities of fantasies and thought. Oh what a delicious treat this would be. The complexities of taste and visions. Instead of existing and only seeing and feeling you, you could see and feel everything.

Could both be true? Could you exist and not exist at the same time. I believe you can and do. You tap in and out of existence constantly. Like a drop of water breaching the surface. You exist for a split moment, before you are once again lost in the flowing river of non existence. You can feel others from a crossed a room or a crossed the world, but at the same time can think and feel yourself. I say do not fear this non existing infinite part of yourself. Embrace it and discover it's vastness. Wander through this non existing ocean of emotions. Concentrate on the thoughts and feelings others have projected into the darkness. Capture their wishes and dreams and bring them into existence with you. You are the yin and yang, the light and the dark, because after all existence could not exist without non existence. Let's non exist together and bring back something powerful and awe inspiring. Let's bring to existence what everyone wishes into the darkness. Let's bring non judgemental unconditional love into the world of existence. Let it blossom and spread through the world and envelop everything.

I Love You All

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