1m 8d 23h Saved Saved: -$56.75
Oxygen Levels:100% Taste & Smell: 100%
Circulation: 46% Epiphony: 100%
Yesterday was a very wonderfully insightful horrible strange day. I still can't get the image of that little girl out of my head. I have images of being there. Being the little girl and the mother. It was a vomit inducing sensation. I know my last blog seemed a little angry at the end and some may have thought that was directed at them. It wasn't that was self directed anger. You see what happened was I discovered the dark depressing side of being one. Here is an easy way to explain it. If we are one then we are Hitler. Then we are to blame for all the atrociously horrendous actions that take place in this world. Yesterday day I tuned into the guilt of the world. It was not a happy place to be I wanted to run from it. To numb it away, but I realized in my personal life that numbing and running does not work. We need to accept blame and guilt. The agony caused by accepting our role in these horrible actions widens our ability to feel all emotions and to actually be alive. By embracing this dark ugly side of being one I should be able to feel the bright euphoric love side of being one. Similar to my own personal emotional self I need to refrain from the stoic approach.
This is a scary thought. Think about all the pain throughout time. Can we bear that burden. I agree it's a mind blowing thought, but think about it this way if you go through it you will get to feel all the joy and love that ever existed as well. When you have tapped into the surface of being one you are only feeling a small portion of the euphoric oneness. I've become an expert at suffering. I have the ability to find heaven in the darkest hell. As a writer I've become addicted to it. Suffering after all creates a depth in writing and art that can change the world. I've realized real creative power comes from agony and heartbreak. Imagine what can be created accepting the agony and heartbreak of trillions of people. This is my heroin. I'm not going to push this away. I'm going to embrace it. I will turn and face this army of dark demons. They may devour my body and mind, but my spirit and soul will shine with the brightness of a million stars exploding. Although I will most likely not survive my words will live on and create a beautiful world for everyone. Who after all are just me.
"I want to write my words on the face of today" -Shannon Hoon
I Love You All
Oxygen Levels:100% Taste & Smell: 100%
Circulation: 46% Epiphony: 100%
Yesterday was a very wonderfully insightful horrible strange day. I still can't get the image of that little girl out of my head. I have images of being there. Being the little girl and the mother. It was a vomit inducing sensation. I know my last blog seemed a little angry at the end and some may have thought that was directed at them. It wasn't that was self directed anger. You see what happened was I discovered the dark depressing side of being one. Here is an easy way to explain it. If we are one then we are Hitler. Then we are to blame for all the atrociously horrendous actions that take place in this world. Yesterday day I tuned into the guilt of the world. It was not a happy place to be I wanted to run from it. To numb it away, but I realized in my personal life that numbing and running does not work. We need to accept blame and guilt. The agony caused by accepting our role in these horrible actions widens our ability to feel all emotions and to actually be alive. By embracing this dark ugly side of being one I should be able to feel the bright euphoric love side of being one. Similar to my own personal emotional self I need to refrain from the stoic approach.
This is a scary thought. Think about all the pain throughout time. Can we bear that burden. I agree it's a mind blowing thought, but think about it this way if you go through it you will get to feel all the joy and love that ever existed as well. When you have tapped into the surface of being one you are only feeling a small portion of the euphoric oneness. I've become an expert at suffering. I have the ability to find heaven in the darkest hell. As a writer I've become addicted to it. Suffering after all creates a depth in writing and art that can change the world. I've realized real creative power comes from agony and heartbreak. Imagine what can be created accepting the agony and heartbreak of trillions of people. This is my heroin. I'm not going to push this away. I'm going to embrace it. I will turn and face this army of dark demons. They may devour my body and mind, but my spirit and soul will shine with the brightness of a million stars exploding. Although I will most likely not survive my words will live on and create a beautiful world for everyone. Who after all are just me.
"I want to write my words on the face of today" -Shannon Hoon
I Love You All
No comments:
Post a Comment