1m 5d 22h Saved: -$45.47
Circulation: 42% Gum Texture: 40%
Risk of Heart Attack: 1.97% Doubt: 50%
Last night I fell asleep in the safe embrace of my love with no doubt in my mind that I'm on the right path. I awoke seeing her stunning blue eyes and feeling the same. That is until I recieved a phone call from my former. She was upset over a miscommunication that has her strapped for cash at the moment and seeing the photo of me going out in my new suit. I can understand why she would feel this way. I would assume the same if I was on her end. The suit just arrived I purchased it weeks ago and I did not spend much when I went out this weekend. The reason I'm strapped for cash now was due to unexpected issues. I'm new to this whole child support through ORS system. When I had money earlier this month I had asked her if ORS was paying her and if I needed to pay them. That the only thing I had recieved from them was a notification about garnishing my wages. From what I understood or poorly assumed was that ORS was paying her and I was simply waiting for the bill from them. I knew I had another large sum of money coming at the end of the month, so I figured I could pay it then. Here is where I screwed up. I didn't realize just how fast the money would go. When you haven't had money in a while it creates a black hole. As soon as you get money that black hole sucks it up to fill in the empty spaces. I also was overzealous having money again. The suits were needed for my new career that I'm really excited for. I did spend too much on having fun. I realize now I should have been better at planning. It's funny when you don't have much money you plan out everything and every purchase is well thought out. When you get a large sum of money you don't think twice about it. You can quickly be right back to being broke.
My former has a way of making me doubt myself. First off she is right there is no reasonable excuse why I didn't call ORS and solve this issue when I had the funds to take care of it. This makes me feel like a bad father. When in reality it shows my weakness for budgeting or gathering information. You see when you are an optimist like myself you always believe everything is going to work out. You have a tendency to spend everything believing that you'll get more soon. I know my new company is purely commission based. My former thinks this is a horrible idea. I've been working commission based for fifteen years now. The downfall of commission based income is you never know how much you'll get or when you'll be getting it. Planning is extremely complicated with that inconsistent variable. The plus is that the payout is tied to your work and is typically better than working a traditional job. My former has made it clear that she thinks I should be working a traditional job. The issue is my background is in sells. I've attempted to find traditional employment, but to no avail. I actually reached out to a salary job that my optimistic point of view said I had for sure. I was simply waiting for the fourth and final interview. I was excited about this opportunity. Their product was something I could get behind and be proud of and everyone I spoke with there seem to be amazing people that I could get along with. There employee reviews on Glassdoor were the best I've seen. I sent an email to the recruiter and got a quick reply that they choose another candidate. This seems to be the trend I keep running into when looking for traditional employment. This constant rejection takes a toll on my mental state. I've never had this issue in the past. I landed every interview I have ever done. This humbling experience is new to me.
This is where I get to claim the moment. I have a plethora of reasons running through my head as to why I can't seem to find a salary career. I could assume something is wrong with me. That my lack of education is preventing me from landing the job. That my personality is off putting. That my personal appearance is unpleasant. That my openness on social media is causing employers to take pause and reject me. I need to pause here and look at this the same way I looked at dating, because after all isn't dating the same as the application and interview process. When I was stood up on a date I realized a powerful solution to the rejection. I had the power to select the reason why someone stood me up. Why would I select one that hurts me? After all whatever reason I came up with would not be the real reason anyway. I would never know the real reason, so I would say to myself "I hope her husband wasn't to mad when he found out" or "I hope she comes out of the coma soon". Selecting these reasons had no effect on my emotional state. Now I'm going to select a reason I'm not landing these salary jobs. I'm actually going to pick two. One: I'm not meant for a traditional job. The universe keeps refusing these opportunities to me for a reason. I must embrace what really makes me joyful (CEO Space International). I must dedicate my full attention to this career and my writing career. Two: I'm over qualified to work at these jobs. I was a president of a company and took over an industry after all. These traditional salary jobs would be lucky to have me and they realize that they wouldn't be able to hold on to me long term. That I would become bored with my position and would leave them behind in my stardust. What they don't realize is even the short amount of time I gave them would be way beyond the benefits of what they paid me for that time. I pity them. They had the opportunity to work with a star and they choose a steady cold rock instead.
Thanks for allowing me this moment of self doubt readers. I'd like to thank God/The Universe/Everyone/Myself for this opportunity to feel these negative emotions of anger, stress, frustration and doubt. In the wise teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh I'd like to say "Hello self doubt. It's nice to see you again. Don't worry I'm here for you. I will not reject you. Give me the lesson you are here to teach me and I will be grateful to receive it". I'm off to mediate on this for a minute or 30. Farewell readers. I'm sure I'll have a poem for you later today.
I Love You All
Circulation: 42% Gum Texture: 40%
Risk of Heart Attack: 1.97% Doubt: 50%
Last night I fell asleep in the safe embrace of my love with no doubt in my mind that I'm on the right path. I awoke seeing her stunning blue eyes and feeling the same. That is until I recieved a phone call from my former. She was upset over a miscommunication that has her strapped for cash at the moment and seeing the photo of me going out in my new suit. I can understand why she would feel this way. I would assume the same if I was on her end. The suit just arrived I purchased it weeks ago and I did not spend much when I went out this weekend. The reason I'm strapped for cash now was due to unexpected issues. I'm new to this whole child support through ORS system. When I had money earlier this month I had asked her if ORS was paying her and if I needed to pay them. That the only thing I had recieved from them was a notification about garnishing my wages. From what I understood or poorly assumed was that ORS was paying her and I was simply waiting for the bill from them. I knew I had another large sum of money coming at the end of the month, so I figured I could pay it then. Here is where I screwed up. I didn't realize just how fast the money would go. When you haven't had money in a while it creates a black hole. As soon as you get money that black hole sucks it up to fill in the empty spaces. I also was overzealous having money again. The suits were needed for my new career that I'm really excited for. I did spend too much on having fun. I realize now I should have been better at planning. It's funny when you don't have much money you plan out everything and every purchase is well thought out. When you get a large sum of money you don't think twice about it. You can quickly be right back to being broke.
My former has a way of making me doubt myself. First off she is right there is no reasonable excuse why I didn't call ORS and solve this issue when I had the funds to take care of it. This makes me feel like a bad father. When in reality it shows my weakness for budgeting or gathering information. You see when you are an optimist like myself you always believe everything is going to work out. You have a tendency to spend everything believing that you'll get more soon. I know my new company is purely commission based. My former thinks this is a horrible idea. I've been working commission based for fifteen years now. The downfall of commission based income is you never know how much you'll get or when you'll be getting it. Planning is extremely complicated with that inconsistent variable. The plus is that the payout is tied to your work and is typically better than working a traditional job. My former has made it clear that she thinks I should be working a traditional job. The issue is my background is in sells. I've attempted to find traditional employment, but to no avail. I actually reached out to a salary job that my optimistic point of view said I had for sure. I was simply waiting for the fourth and final interview. I was excited about this opportunity. Their product was something I could get behind and be proud of and everyone I spoke with there seem to be amazing people that I could get along with. There employee reviews on Glassdoor were the best I've seen. I sent an email to the recruiter and got a quick reply that they choose another candidate. This seems to be the trend I keep running into when looking for traditional employment. This constant rejection takes a toll on my mental state. I've never had this issue in the past. I landed every interview I have ever done. This humbling experience is new to me.
This is where I get to claim the moment. I have a plethora of reasons running through my head as to why I can't seem to find a salary career. I could assume something is wrong with me. That my lack of education is preventing me from landing the job. That my personality is off putting. That my personal appearance is unpleasant. That my openness on social media is causing employers to take pause and reject me. I need to pause here and look at this the same way I looked at dating, because after all isn't dating the same as the application and interview process. When I was stood up on a date I realized a powerful solution to the rejection. I had the power to select the reason why someone stood me up. Why would I select one that hurts me? After all whatever reason I came up with would not be the real reason anyway. I would never know the real reason, so I would say to myself "I hope her husband wasn't to mad when he found out" or "I hope she comes out of the coma soon". Selecting these reasons had no effect on my emotional state. Now I'm going to select a reason I'm not landing these salary jobs. I'm actually going to pick two. One: I'm not meant for a traditional job. The universe keeps refusing these opportunities to me for a reason. I must embrace what really makes me joyful (CEO Space International). I must dedicate my full attention to this career and my writing career. Two: I'm over qualified to work at these jobs. I was a president of a company and took over an industry after all. These traditional salary jobs would be lucky to have me and they realize that they wouldn't be able to hold on to me long term. That I would become bored with my position and would leave them behind in my stardust. What they don't realize is even the short amount of time I gave them would be way beyond the benefits of what they paid me for that time. I pity them. They had the opportunity to work with a star and they choose a steady cold rock instead.
Thanks for allowing me this moment of self doubt readers. I'd like to thank God/The Universe/Everyone/Myself for this opportunity to feel these negative emotions of anger, stress, frustration and doubt. In the wise teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh I'd like to say "Hello self doubt. It's nice to see you again. Don't worry I'm here for you. I will not reject you. Give me the lesson you are here to teach me and I will be grateful to receive it". I'm off to mediate on this for a minute or 30. Farewell readers. I'm sure I'll have a poem for you later today.
I Love You All
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