25d 20h 8m Saved:-$76.57
Gums & Teeth: 100% Circulation: 30%
Gum Texture:29% Inspiration: 100%
Unstoppable, capable and enlightened. This is how I feel lately. My love life, my career and friendships are all thriving. I'm overflowing with gratitude and blessings. I can't wait to help others reach this peak. When everything is going well I become nervous and stressed. I've contemplated this and I realize this can be from one of two things. Subconsciously I don't feel I deserve this. This stems from my childhood trauma. When you are abused you feel tainted and dirty. You feel unworthy of any blessings. You have this constant voice in your head saying you are garbage. It sounds silly, but for some reason we feel that we are at fault for what happened to us. That we should have told, yelled, screamed and fought off our attackers or that we provoked and caused the abuse. The idea that a 7 year old could stop or seduce two adults or even one adult is a crazy thought. I think of my heart (My middle child) and realize that I was powerless. Even now I feel my fight or flight response coming in. My hands grow numb and my feet become cold. This thought process is triggering me. The issue we have is we place our adults minds in the situation. The adult in us could stop it, could prevent it. Alas we were children and there is nothing we could have done.
The second possibility is that I expect bad things to happen. I think Slug from Atmosphere said it best "I can't front I'm having a blast, but damned if I ain't afraid of how long it's going to last". I've been conditioned to expect pain and suffering. This fear is preventing me from fully enjoying the moment. I look into my love's eyes and feel a deep love for her. I smile and then my mind says "Jake stop don't fall so hard the bottom is going to hurt to bad". This prevents me from fully experiencing the moment I deserve and have been blessed with. I'm going to claim a moment. This one right here! RIGHT NOW!
This moment is mine. I'm fully aware that my fear is bred from my abuse. I have nothing to fear. I'm a glorious heart, spirit, mind and soul. I apologize to my higher self for not accepting earlier the power that lays within me. I am love. I am acceptance. I am forgiveness. Follow me into the future as we lay waste to the army of hate. Any barrier that stands between us and our true selves will naturally bow down and crumble under our feet. This flame inside me is lighting a fire inside millions. This inferno is setting the world ablaze with love and compassion. The immense heat will heal the people of this world. The blinding light will shatter the darkness of the past and beckon the lonely to come home. The time is now accept your pains and agony with gratefulness. They are what created the depth inside the beautiful soul and heart that stands before me. Join me and let's live our lives to the fullest. After all this entire universe was made for us to be alive and to live. Don't numb the intensity of this life. Let's suffer together and make heaven on earth with our understanding. We deserve all the pleasures and joy this world has to offer. Welcome home my beloved. It's been to long since I've seen your light. I missed you.
I love you all
Gums & Teeth: 100% Circulation: 30%
Gum Texture:29% Inspiration: 100%
Unstoppable, capable and enlightened. This is how I feel lately. My love life, my career and friendships are all thriving. I'm overflowing with gratitude and blessings. I can't wait to help others reach this peak. When everything is going well I become nervous and stressed. I've contemplated this and I realize this can be from one of two things. Subconsciously I don't feel I deserve this. This stems from my childhood trauma. When you are abused you feel tainted and dirty. You feel unworthy of any blessings. You have this constant voice in your head saying you are garbage. It sounds silly, but for some reason we feel that we are at fault for what happened to us. That we should have told, yelled, screamed and fought off our attackers or that we provoked and caused the abuse. The idea that a 7 year old could stop or seduce two adults or even one adult is a crazy thought. I think of my heart (My middle child) and realize that I was powerless. Even now I feel my fight or flight response coming in. My hands grow numb and my feet become cold. This thought process is triggering me. The issue we have is we place our adults minds in the situation. The adult in us could stop it, could prevent it. Alas we were children and there is nothing we could have done.
The second possibility is that I expect bad things to happen. I think Slug from Atmosphere said it best "I can't front I'm having a blast, but damned if I ain't afraid of how long it's going to last". I've been conditioned to expect pain and suffering. This fear is preventing me from fully enjoying the moment. I look into my love's eyes and feel a deep love for her. I smile and then my mind says "Jake stop don't fall so hard the bottom is going to hurt to bad". This prevents me from fully experiencing the moment I deserve and have been blessed with. I'm going to claim a moment. This one right here! RIGHT NOW!
This moment is mine. I'm fully aware that my fear is bred from my abuse. I have nothing to fear. I'm a glorious heart, spirit, mind and soul. I apologize to my higher self for not accepting earlier the power that lays within me. I am love. I am acceptance. I am forgiveness. Follow me into the future as we lay waste to the army of hate. Any barrier that stands between us and our true selves will naturally bow down and crumble under our feet. This flame inside me is lighting a fire inside millions. This inferno is setting the world ablaze with love and compassion. The immense heat will heal the people of this world. The blinding light will shatter the darkness of the past and beckon the lonely to come home. The time is now accept your pains and agony with gratefulness. They are what created the depth inside the beautiful soul and heart that stands before me. Join me and let's live our lives to the fullest. After all this entire universe was made for us to be alive and to live. Don't numb the intensity of this life. Let's suffer together and make heaven on earth with our understanding. We deserve all the pleasures and joy this world has to offer. Welcome home my beloved. It's been to long since I've seen your light. I missed you.
I love you all
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